Are Arranged Marriages an act of love, or perhaps even torture?
I find it difficult to see how anyone could possibly approve of arranged marriages. In an arranged marriage, the bride and groom are selected by a third party rather than each other. Arranged marriages are most common in the Middle East and parts of Africa and Asia - however with 55% of marriages in the world being arranged- you would be likely to find cases of arranged marriages anywhere you go. There are many different types of arranged marriages which follow all different rules and traditions to ensure it goes smoothly, but none of these allow you to pick the right partner yourself. I intend to put my personal views across, my view that arranged marriages are - and always will be –a violation against human rights. The main formula for life goes something like: have a childhood, get an education, get a job, have children, and grow old. However, many people following that formula tend to do something extreme, involuntary perhaps – fall in love. People in love will want to spend the rest of their life with the person they love, and the most logical way of ensuring this is through marriage. Marriage is a commitment shared between two people, a legal contract binding them together for life. How can people want to partake in such commitment with someone, they hardly know, let alone love?
If a marriage is arranged by someone else, then it isn’t based on the grounds of which most marriages take place – love. Call me a romantic, but a marriage without love sounds like a very troublesome, difficult thing. By having your wedding arranged by someone else, this is taking away your free will – and furthermore denying you of the natural emotion of love. This is one of life’s many rare experiences, and I think every human should be guaranteed the free ability to get to know someone, fall in love, and as a result, get married. Through arranged marriage, you are agreeing to commit your life to someone whom you don’t know much about, by doing this, you are choosing to dedicate your whole entire life to a person - who may turn out to be nothing like you expect.
Furthermore, not everyone in the world is genuine, and a lot of people would arrange a marriage for their children or someone close to them with their own selfish concerns in mind. In under-developed countries, where lots of people live in poverty, some parents will choose to marry off their children to people of a higher social status – increasing their own honour and wealth, and the happiness of the parents may overshadow the children’s. As much as this could be an easy escape from a hard life – we must consider the effects this could have on the people getting married. Their spouse isn’t being picked to suit them – so without common interest’s etc- there is a poor chance the couple will get on, which will then lead to an unhappy marriage and perhaps a hard life, taking the person in a broken marriage back to square one.
Subsequently, arranged marriages can have a massive impact on someone’s life before, during, and after the marriage takes place. Perhaps you may be the unlucky one – and because you don’t truly know the person you are marrying – will be exposed to a variety of problems which may be hard to escape. Some of these problems range from abuse, violence and forced sexual relationships, to name just a few. A case in the media not too long ago bears witness to a twelve year old bride (her wedding arranged) who died after struggling for three days in labour to give birth. This type of marriage is appalling, and disgusting within itself – but exposing girls to this at such a young age is absolutely repulsive and I have no idea how this can be legal. A Nationwide survey in 2005 showed that half of marriages in rural India involved brides younger than 18 – the age of consent. This lifestyle is leaving so many young girls with no real hope for life outside of marriage, with a lot of...
(Un)arranged Marriage - Bali Rai
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