Keys to a Successful Marriage

Topics: Marriage, Nonverbal communication, Family therapy Pages: 6 (1967 words) Published: July 17, 2013
Keys to a successful marriage

COM 200 Interpersonal Communication
November 5, 2012

Becoming an engaged couple is an exciting event in any person’s life. Being engaged means starting a new life together and when you feel more connected to your partner more than ever. Even with all that happiness, newly engaged couples can face problems on the way to the altar. The types of problems are mostly communications issues such as; developing strategies for active, critical, and empathic listening; recognizing how words have the power to create and affect attitudes, behavior, and perception; understanding how perceptions, emotions, and nonverbal expression affect interpersonal relationships; evaluating appropriate levels of self-disclosure in relationships; and describing strategies for managing interpersonal conflicts. When two people become newly engaged; they can learn about martial issues prior to marriage and their marriage can be more successful and to avoid obstacles along the way. Every marriage goes through rough patches, but working through the bumps will help you two fall in love over and over again. Develop strategies for active, critical, and empathic listening. When it comes to listening both people need to be active listeners and not to interrupt each other while they are talking. “Each spouse [needs] to understand their part in the relationship so that each might grow and change. Each spouse coming to this kind of growth holds the best possibility of staying together.” (Gau, J. (2011). Each person must pay attention to what their partner wants and how they both can fix any problems that arise. “Communication is important because conflicts are inevitable in relationships,” (Johnson, T. (2011). When both people actually listen to their partner their will not be any misunderstandings. Misunderstandings will happen in your relationship but when you two are actively listening to their words misunderstandings will be minimal. “To listen, you must be fully focused on the other person and engaged in a process that involves six components: (1) motivating yourself to listen, (2) clearly hearing the message, (3) paying attention to the message, (4) correctly interpreting the message, (5) evaluating the message, and (6) remembering and responding appropriately. (Sole, K. (2011). Being a critical listener to your future spouse is a must as well because you will learn valuable information about your partner. If you apply critical listening skills you will understand how your future husband or wife feels. Being an empathetic listener is crucial as well because you can put yourself in their shoes. Communication is key to a successful and happy marriage “Gottman and Silver then use this information as the foundation for The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work. These are (1) enhance your Love maps, (2) nurture fondness and admiration, (3) turn toward each other rather than away, (4) allow yourself to be influenced by your partner, (5) solve your solvable problems, (6) overcome gridlock, and (7) create shared meaning,” (Keyt, 2003). Recognize how words have the power to create and affect attitudes, behavior, and perception. Knowing that words can do hurt will help your future nuptials because you will know what words can hurt and can avoid using those words in the future. Words have strong meanings behind them and knowing that they can and do hurt can help you two.”If you think the communication between you and your partner needs some extra help, consider couples counseling or martial therapy,” (Johnson, T. (2011). Before going off your on future spouse about the trash not being taken out, take a step back and re-think your words because if you something out of anger, that can damage your marriage before it even happens. “When the concerns and responsibilities of life impinge on [your] wife and she fails to anticipate her husband’s needs, he may reproach her, implying that since they have been...

References: Gau, J. (2011). Successful Marriage. Pastoral Psychology, 60(5), 651-658. doi:10.1007/s11089-011-0362-7
George, M. S. (2012). The role of the therapist in common factors: Continuing the dialogue. Journal of Marital and Family Therapy, 38, 1-7. Retrieved from
Johnson, T. (2011). Healthy relationships lead to better lives. Nation 's Health, 41(2), 20.
Keyt, A. (2003). The seven principles for making marriage work. Family Business Review, 16(2), 151-152. Retrieved from
Sakina, P. S. (2011), Finding common ground. Black Enterprise, 42, 57-58. Retrieved from
Sole, K. (2011). Making connections: Understanding interpersonal communication. San Diego, CA: Bridgepoint Education, Inc.
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