unhappy marriage

Topics: Marriage, Divorce, Human sexuality Pages: 3 (622 words) Published: November 13, 2014
Brett Burgess
Journal #2

Most of today’s marriages are unhappy. There may be several reasons to an unhappy marriage, but the most common seems to be children. Yes, we children may be causing our parents to have an unhappy marriage.

It is not really our fault though, for it is their own for having us. In today’s society, parents are basing their marriage more and more around their children. They are putting their children before their marriage.

There was a study conducted on 130 newlywed couples. The researchers were John and Julie Gottman. Two-thirds of the new parents self-reported that they were “very unhappy after the birth of their first child.” They taped couples interacting in a lab. Couples with children treated each other worse than couples with no children but still married for the same amount of time. “More than a hundred studies show that marital satisfaction falls off a cliff after the birth of the first child and doesn’t get much better until the last child leaves for college.” – From article.

Back in the 50’s, people married for love. Divorce was rare. Men and women had separate roles. Children had more freedom to go out and play. Marriage seemed to be good back then and both the wife husband was ultimately happy.

In the 70’s, marriage underwent a second transformation. Our marriage expectations were raised while the resources we put in our relationships were diminished. By then, Americans had discovered the female orgasm. It had produced better sex lives for both the men and women, but made post baby adjustment a more shocking disappointment.

Some couples are still happy after their children are born. The Gottmans found that these couples are not as child-centered as the unhappy couples were. Couples who do things alone together are found to be happier.

Today’s parents spend less time with each other and more time catering to their children. “We expect more from our marriages but...
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